A while back, I asked this question about whether I should allow my child to participate in dangerous sports and when they may be able to assess risk.
Originally, this answer contained a description of a young man being injured by being gored by a bull, along with a fairly graphic image.
At the time, I saw this as unnecessary and probably off-topic (as it doesn't answer my question) but the answer finishes (quite fairly) with a paragraph questioning my reasoning:
But for a parent to actually encourage a dangerous activity? I just don't see it. There are plenty of fun things to do which are less harmful.
So, at the time I thought it would be most constructive if I just added a comment explaining what kind of activities were relevant and why I was considering them:
I'd probably differentiate between bull running (which I see just as a "dare" activity, with no real skill or training required) and competitive sports. Yes, the sports you've listed can be dangerous - but they also teach a lot. (American) Football, for instance, teaches teamwork, leadership, bravery, commitment and physical fitness. Less "harmful" activities can cover most of that - but lack the element of risk and "face your fears" experience that I want my son to learn, to make a "man" out of him.
The response I got was as follows:
I don't think football teaches a boy to be a man, but I suppose it depends on your definition of a "man". I would prefer my son to be a "mensch" than that kind of "man". But your son is your responsibility, not mine.
To me, this came across as slightly insulting, with negative connotations around "that kind of man" and the snark in "But your son is your responsibility, not mine.".
My response was to clarify my meaning and explain the values I was attempting to instil in my child:
"Well rounded adult" was what I meant (I had to look up "mensch" - its not in my daily vocabulary). I want all of my children to learn a sense of grit and determination, to keep pushing when things get tough. The ability required to keep trying when you're tired / exhausted, possibly in pain (and possibly losing) takes character. IMHO, too many parents avoid exposing their children to life's difficulties - and they raise weak spirited, "meh" generation adults as a result. True, kindness and wisdom are (to me) more important - but not everything. I'd want to raise a child that keeps trying too.
Met with no reply, I asked directly:
@anongoodnurse 'I would prefer my son to be a "mensch" than that kind of "man".' Why do you consider the two to be mutually exclusive?
Then, yesterday, after editing the answer to remove the portion, I finally got this response:
@Mikaveli - Usually, yes, they are mutually exclusive.
Again, not very constructive to me. I also felt this to be somewhat of an attack - as the answerer knows that I place value in the participation of those sports - and this comment basically implies you can't do that and be a good person (mensch).
So, firstly was editing the answer a correct course of action?
Secondly (and more important to me), do those comments violate our community standards / "be nice" policy? They don't contain any direct attacks or abusive language, but I feel they're purely opinion, very judgemental and deliberately insulting.